Butterfly Balance Wellness Center

Reframing and Reconnecting

I've just returned from a vacation in New York City, which is my birthplace and the area in which I lived until I moved to Seattle in 2004. I don't believe I've talked a lot about it here on my website, but the events of 9/11/01 were a huge catalyst in my moving away. I was in Manhattan that day, and being as energy sensitive as I am, I took on a lot of the negative energy of that time from those around me, and my own experiential trauma. As you might imagine, this was a difficult time for me.

I have done a lot of work with Health Kinesiology in dealing with the stressors of the days' events, as well as just living in New York City in general. I try to return to New York once a year or so to visit with friends and family, and in the past it has triggered those same feelings, and it was difficult again.

This visit was profoundly different, for which I am very grateful. I've spent a lot of time dwelling on the stress of New York (physically, mentally and energetically) in the past. But this time I decided I would fill my calendar with things that bring me joy. I used to work across the street from Central Park and found serenity on its winding paths. I enjoy the quiet and museum-quality art of St. Patrick's Cathedral. The United Nations' meditation room is a very special place of quiet and peace. And, of course, surrounding myself with loved ones that I have missed visiting with. I realized that through Health Kinesiology corrections I was finally ready to reframe my experiences and reconnect with the things I truly loved about New York City, finally finding peace and the ability to move on.

Is there something you would like to reframe and reconnect with? I would love to work with you towards those goals, knowing from personal experience how it's helped me.

 

Do Nothing

Feeling bombarded by messages to continually multi-task and do everything at once? I can relate to this at times.

I found this fascinating website which encourages you to do absolutely nothing for 2 minutes except listen to the waves. I clicked on it and closed my eyes, listening to the waves as a countdown timer on the screen counted down 2 minutes. I spent most of those 2 minutes with my mind racing, thinking about other things I "should" be doing, or would be doing as soon as my 2 minutes were up, and I managed to open my eyes at least 3 times to look at the clock before my 2 minutes were up.

Wow. That was eye-opening. And I'll bet I'm not alone.

Try it out for yourself at Do Nothing for 2 Minutes and then come back and tell me how it went for you.

I'm going to bookmark this site and practice doing nothing for a change. How about you?

 

 

Insights Into Job Stress and How to Manage It

Almost everyone I know has been asked at a doctor's office if they are "stressed out" and most people (myself included) tend to laugh at that, and think "well, of course I'm stressed out ... who isn't?"

I read this article today called "Job Stress? How to Keep Catastrophic Thoughts from Killing You" which was really interesting because it just didn't commiserate with you for being stressed, but explained some of the reasoning behind how our bodies react to stress and what happens when we overreact to things that shouldn't have a "life or death" stress reaction from us.

From the article:

"Chronic stress kills more people every year than traffic accidents, nicotine, or alcohol from the host of conditions it stokes, from heart disease to strokes, yet we hear next to nothing about it -- no anti-stress ad campaigns like the anti-smoking spots. In Britain, they take work stress seriously enough that the law requires that companies there undergo regular stress audits. Can you imagine that happening here?"

The article explains how our body deals with (and can overreact to) stress:

"The problem is a design flaw in our brains that leaves us prone to false emergencies. We were designed for life-and-death struggles on African savannas, not overflowing in-boxes or sales quotas. That's especially true for the part of your brain that sets off the stress response, the amygdala, a hub of the emotional brain, the ancient limbic system, which ran operations before we evolved the higher brain organs that can make decisions based on reason and analysis, not raw emotion.

In times of perceived danger the amygdala hijacks the 21st century brain and takes the helm again. This ancient alarm system is as good at measuring threats in the workplace as a yardstick is at calculating the distance to the sun. A hundred and fifty emails a day is a hassle, but it's not life-or-death. But if an overloaded inbox makes you feel you can't cope, off goes the signal that sets off the stress response, which floods your body with hormones that suppress your immune system to help you fight or run ... away from your computer?"

Robinson's article gives some great advice on handling stress. Health Kinesiology is also extremely helpful in dealing with things that stress our bodies and energy system, and it can be very effective even when you don't know consciously what is stressing you out. Even when you don't think you know the cause, your body knows on an energetic level.

I can help you to discover what those stressors are and help your body to no longer overreact to them. I had some things that were stressing me out to the point of them being phobias, and I had a far more intense reaction to them than would be perceived as "normal." Using Health Kinesiology, I was able to easily and quickly take the charge off that issue and face it in a far more reasonable way. It's been life-changing for me! I hope you will let me help you find that place of peace around the things that are stressing you. Click below to book an appointment:

 

Learning From Regrets of the Dying

I don't remember how I found this blog post, but Regrets of the Dying on the Inspiration and Chai blog is something that I immediately bookmarked and have gone back to several times. I wanted to share it with you.

Bronnie Ware, the author of the post, says that she worked for many years with clients who had gone home to die. And she wrote about the 5 biggest regrets that she heard about when those clients reflected on their lives:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I encourage you to read the entire post where Ms. Ware elaborates on each of these. It's given me a lot to think about in terms of how I live my life and the things I do (and don't do).

What change can you make in your life today to eliminate at least one regret you would have about how you lived your life?

How Being Supported Makes Us Stronger

In 5 years, this plant never grew very tall at all. It was hanging over the side of the pot and just existing. One day last month I got the idea to support it with a chopstick, which you can see if you look closely at the stem of the plant, and secured it with a rubberband. I didn't have very high hopes for anything to happen, honestly, but all of a sudden the plant took off growing! Now it's about twice as high as it was a month ago, standing up straight and strong.

This plant is a metaphor for my own personal journey right now. As you can see, dear readers, I have not posted anything in quite some time. I have lots of ideas for posts, but never brought myself to doing anything about it. And that's because I was going through some personal issues that I wasn't able to post about, because they were either way too personal to share publicly, or involved someone else whose privacy I would not violate.

I struggled for a while and felt quite lost. And then I decided I needed some support, and reached out for it. With that support I feel like I'm now on my way, in a totally different incarnation than I left behind in 2010. New and improved, if you will. And, like the plant, I stood strong and grew because I allowed myself to be supported.

Sounds almost counter-intuitive, that if you ask for support that you can now stand strong on your own, doesn't it? Years ago, in a different place in my life, I probably would've taken the support and then held on for dear life in some codependent dysfunction, but the energy healing work I've done has helped me to learn to use support as a stepping stone, not a permanent crutch.

I apologize that I disappeared, but I believe I'm better for the experience, and know that it will make a positive difference in how I do my energy healing work and work with my clients. Thank you for your patience, and I look forward to some new changes in near future to share with all of you.

Being of Service

“There’s no greater purpose
than service to others.”
~ Socrates, the Peaceful Warrior movie

I've been giving the topic of Service a lot of thought lately. At the Unitarian Universalist church that I attend in West Seattle, we have a unison affirmation each week that says in part "And service is [this congregation's] prayer." So what exactly is "service"?  The first definition at Dictionary.com is "an act of helpful activity; help; aid: to do someone a service."

I think we often focus on the fact that being of service to others is simply a benefit to the others, and not to the person performing the service. But I think that if the service is genuinely given/performed from the heart, it can be so incredibly beneficial for the person doing the serving as well.

When I originally gave thought to Service in my own life, I thought about what we often call service industries - jobs where we serve others. One of the reasons that I enjoy my work through the Butterfly Balance Energy Healing Center and Health Kinesiology is that I love working with people to help them to improve their life. The gift of doing that work is reflected in a focus and peace I had never found in another job before.

Just over a year ago I spent some wonderful retreat time working with a dear friend, Daria Boissonnas, who is the director for the Global Institute for Awakening (which I highly recommend). Daria is a gifted healer who told me about the Peaceful Warrior film, which I'd never seen before. The quote that I started this post out with was one that she shared with me, and it has stayed with me ever since.

Daria helped me to reframe the idea of being in service and being a healer. Why could my work in a law firm not be a work of service? There are days when it is difficult because I'll be typing all day long, hand in the work, and the attorney will delete half of it and start over again. It felt like such a waste of time to me, and I pretty much felt rejected and undervalued, as if my time was worthless enough to just delete it. But Daria helped me to reframe it in a different way: that I am being asked to do a certain task as a service to the attorney, and what I have done helps him to the next level of doing his own job - and helps him to think clearer about his intention. So I am serving him and helping him, and to look at it this way made it feel more valuable to me, and less irritating.

Even something as simple as holding a door for someone can be an act of Service. All my life I have held doors open for the person behind me. And I've realized that a great majority of those people don't say thank you, they just take the door, or they sometimes expect me to hold it open for them. Being a native New Yorker, I can have a sarcastic streak at times, and if someone didn't say thank you, I'd no doubt say something snarky like "you're welcome" in an annoyed tone. But why? Did I hold the door open just because I wanted a pat on the back? "Good job, Sue - you should be rewarded for your good deed?" Well, no . . . that wasn't my motivation. Shouldn't service be because you want to serve, not to get something back or having an ulterior motive? Shouldn't the motivation BE the service itself, doing something that you think is the right thing to do?

Today I held the door open for still another person who did not acknowledge it. I smiled anyway and knew that all was right in the world at that moment.

How do YOU incorporate Service into your life? How does it make you feel?

 

 

 

Mindful Spending

I just finished reading this really interesting blog post about Mindful Spending that I wanted to share.

Mindful spending is something I've only started really implementing in the past few years. A great deal of my life was spent pulling out credit cards a bit too freely, running up debt, and confusing wants for needs. I've done a lot of soul searching about the whys of what I'd done in the past, and why that couldn't continue anymore. I'm grateful to have righted the situation before things got worse than they were, and learning to live within my means.

But this post I read reminds me that Mindful Spending isn't just watching how much you spend, but also considering the intent behind what you spend - putting your money where your mouth is, if you will. From the article:

Mindful spending is a way of treating yourself, your community, and your money with respect. 

Mindful spending begs you to consider each dollar you spend an extension of your personal values, creating an individual economy that centers on what you love and not what society tells you you have to have. It means choosing not to spend money at all sometimes, choosing to spend more on high-quality, well-crafted items that support your community, and choosing to spend less on items that commercialism has put an unnecessary price tag on.

It really did make me reflect on how I spend my money. One of the biggest changes I've made is in how I spend my food dollars. I used to always look for the bargain - spending a great many years eating cheap, processed food (ramen noodles, anyone?). I remember in my first apartment with my best friend Ben, we used to say that we drank nothing but soda because it was cheaper than milk and juice. I bet that's still true today (although I don't drink milk or soda anymore, so I can't say for sure). But now, I really think about the quality of what I buy, how it's processed and where it comes from. Sure, I still buy processed foods from time to time, but I look at ingredients - if the ingredients are written in 5 pt. font so they can fit all 100 ingredients (chemicals), I just put it back on the shelf. I deserve better than that. I shop at the local PCC Market (food co-op/health food store) and invest in local, organic foods when I can.

Even a choice of store reflects on mindful spending. There is a store that I've browsed in that sells gemstones, rocks, and various other natural items. The prices are so insanely low that you just know that they have to using some sort of slave labor to obtain these items. I love the items in the store, but I refuse to buy any of it to support these prices that must likely reflect unfair trade.

Another example is a a major retailer that two years ago was selling king size flannel sheet sets for $20. I really needed sheets, and who doesn't like cheap prices? So I bought them. But now that I need more sheets, I'm having a hard time with the concept of $20 king sized flannel sheets. Think about the material and the workmanship that goes into making a king-sized set of sheets. I have a hard time thinking of ethics and fair trade when prices are that low.

For me, making the choice to not purchase is living in integrity and by my values.

Not all my choices are so virtuous. I'll be first to admit I still run through a drive-thru from time to time or buy some worthless junk I don't need, but I'm trying to make those events the exception and not the rule.

What does YOUR spending say about your personal values?

 

 

Deep Peace

Deep peace of the running wave to you,
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the shining stars to you,
Deep peace of the gentle night to you,
Moon and stars for their healing light on you,
Deep peace to you.

I'm not sure who wrote those lyrics as I've seen them attributed to many different people on the internet. I saw this video this morning on a friend's Facebook post and just knew that I wanted to share this, so that you could all experience the same moment of Deep Peace that I did upon listening to this.  Enjoy!

 

 

Rules to Live By

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.

Mary Anne Radmacher

 

I saw this inspirational message on a framed wall hanging in a catalog I just got in the mail from Femail Creations. It really jumped out at me, not as something to necessarily buy, but because of how each line touched me. It's almost like a blueprint to life - rules to live by - if one wants to live a life of joy and integrity and wellness.

I recommend meditating on each line and thinking about one step you can take to bring each one into your life, more so than you may already be doing. It may sound cliched, but I think the world would be a happier place. At least you would be.  :)

 

 

Clutter, Clutter Everywhere!

I have this long-standing love/hate relationship with clutter.

 

On one hand, I really dislike clutter. I know that when everything is cluttered and messy, it interferes with the energy flow in a room or home. You may be familiar with feng-shui, an ancient Chinese system of aesthetics and order which improves qi (life energy); clutter is a definitely no-no in feng-shui.  I've seen it come up in a Health Kinesiology session, about a need to to clean and/or vacuum to improve life balance! Clutter around me makes me feel disordered, lethargic and just seems to attract more clutter - if the place is already a mess, why not just add to it? Hardly seems worth it to get up and put something away when you can just dump it on an existing pile.

 

On the other hand, clutter seems to feel very comfortable to me. All my life I've lived a cluttered, disordered life in terms of my home. I honestly thought it was because I didn't have enough room for anything, and one can believe that when you're young and living at home and sharing a bedroom with a sibling; there really isn't any room. But as I became an adult, and every home of mine became bigger and bigger, I seemed to still find a way to fill it with Stuff.

 

I wouldn't call myself a materialistic person; I've never been one of those "whoever dies with the most toys wins" types of people. But somehow the clutter finds me and comforts me. Yet it also overwhelms me. And, interestingly, I can have a dozen bags and piles of clutter around me, but I seem to know where something is. "Sure, honey, that bill is in the third bag from the left, under the tire chains."

 

Today I was on Facebook and reading the page for Whole Living, the publishers for what used to be Body & Soul Magazine for many years (now Whole Living Magazine) and they linked to an article on their website called "What Do You Value Most? Take the Ten-Item Test." This excerpt from the article really jumped out at me:

 

Take the “Ten Items or Less” Test

First, make a list of ten tangibles that you feel are the most indispensable for survival. Then make a second list of the ten intangibles.

What many people discover from this exercise is the shocking revelation that their most crucial possessions total only a few hundred dollars, and they already own them. Things like clothing, eyeglasses, pots and pans, tools, and medical supplies. And the toil that they experience day in and day out is to possess things that aren’t even on these lists.

It really makes you think about the "value" we put on the junk that surrounds us!

 

When I moved from the New York City area to Seattle (6 years ago next month!), I had to do a fearless inventory of my possessions. When you do a move across the country (unlike local moves), moving companies charge you by weight. When you can look at a piece of furniture that is worth maybe $20 and realize that weight-wise it will cost $50 to move it, it suddenly takes on a lot less value to you and is easier to get rid of. I got rid of a TON of stuff back then in 2004. We had this local organization that picked up household goods for charity, and I remember having at least 25 boxes of unneeded items in my driveway, covered with a tarp, awaiting pickup. It seemed to ridiculous and wasteful to have collected all this stuff over the years that I really did not need. I felt so good about getting rid of this clutter.

 

So how is is that 6 years later, my house is back to being as cluttered as it was then? What does it say about me to have such a need to possess so much junk, and to leave it in such a state of disarray?

 

I've been doing a lot of self-healing work lately, and some of it is really, REALLY tough to shine a light on and deal with. I'm starting to think of the clutter as a comforting mechanism (like overeating can be for many people to stuff down feelings). I don't have to deal with the feelings that come up if I surround myself with stuff that doesn't even let the energy flow clearly in my home and in my life.

 

I often refer to Health Kinesiologywork as "peeling an onion" - that sometimes you need to be patient as you peel off the superficial layers before you can get to the really important stuff hidden below. I'm thinking that my clutter issues are similar. As I peel away those layers and get to the real nitty-gritty of my issues, I'm surrounding myself with old, familiar layers that don't really serve me well, and hinder me from really doing the work I need to do.  Funny how I can see that in clients, but can't see it as easily in myself. Not surprising, really.

 

What are you covering up in your own life?  Let's work together to uncover those hidden gifts!