Butterfly Balance Wellness Center

Failing to Keep Resolutions: It's Not About Willpower!

I always find it interesting to watch the marketing of New Years Resolutions. I walked into Costco a few days before New Years last year, and the entryway was lined with diet programs, exercise machines, scales, stop-smoking systems, books on health and fitness - you name the typical resolution, and there was an alleged solution right there for the taking.

On January 1st of every year I can remember, I'd be watching TV, and not 10 minutes into turning it on, I'd be greeted by a commercial about how you need to start the New Year off right by having weight loss surgery or a new diet program. (Uh, no thanks!)

Sure, I've made my share of Resolutions in my lifetime, and there's such a high failure rate on them if you talk to people in February each year. It wasn't until I tried applying the concepts of Health Kinesiology to New Years Resolutions that I started to understand why that might be.

You are a unique, beautiful individual. You can come into my office with the same issue as another client, but your body will have an entirely different, unique way to deal with that issue. And sometimes an issue that sounds like a "no-brainer" in terms of benefit to someone/everyone will have all kinds of issues tied up in it for you that make it not the best thing to pursue without doing other work first. Let me explain.

Weigh(t), Wait!

I've been having some interesting personal realizations about validation. Specifically about weight, and weight loss. And some of it has been very surprising to me.

I've talked about weight loss before here. I've also talked about size acceptance, and how what I weigh has no charge on me. I'm not afraid of the word "fat" - it's factual, not judgmental. At least not in the way I use it. I'll tell anybody what I weight, because it doesn't have anything to do with my worth as a person.

So an interesting thing has been happening. My usual habit was to weigh myself on Monday mornings, just once a week. Recently I started noticing a pattern - that every time I would start to lose weight and got close to where I would have lost around 25 pounds from my top weight - that I would somehow find a way to sabotage myself and gain all or most of the weight back. Very strange development! What is it about those particular numbers that sets something off in me that I have to run away from? What did that number represent to me that caused such reversal?

When I started my new nutritional plan that I mentioned here, I realized I started losing weight. Not surprising given how drastically my diet had changed. So I decided to try an experiment: I would stay off the scale entirely. I would lose (or not lose) weight no matter whether I stepped on a scale or not. Since the numbers don't mean anything to me, what would it matter? If I didn't know, I felt I couldn't sabotage myself like I had repeatedly done in the past, right?

For maybe 3 months now I have not stepped on a scale. I have no idea of the actual number of my weight. However, I am being asked by many if I've lost weight. I'm constantly pulling my pants up because they are falling off (I'm between sizes right now). And when I look at my body in the mirror, I can definitely see that I'm losing weight. I am getting tons of positive feedback and validation that I am, in fact, losing weight.

So why is it making me insane that I am not stepping on that scale? Why have I become obsessed with knowing the exact number of how much I've lost? Does knowing the number change the outcome? Of course not. I've lost x pounds no matter what the scale tells me. But I feel like I'm going through withdrawal. The other day, I actually said out loud "it's killing me to not get on that scale." Really? Killing me? That's a really silly choice of words. :) I'm already being validated by comments and my actual, physical changes in my body and the way my clothing fits. So why do I need more validation in terms of a number on a scale?!

I'm standing my ground and choosing to not get on that scale. I will not be a slave to a number. I will continue to work towards optimal health in all aspects of my life, and as a result my body will settle on the weight it wishes to be, with or without knowing what it is.

I don't have all the answers. I don't know right now what's going on with me with the numbers - wanting to know them, vs. running away when I do. I'm sure it'll come up in a Health Kinesiology session when my body decides it's a priority to care about it. In the meantime, I'll just be open to whatever the Universe wants for me.

Chanelling Biggest Loser's Jillian, or Kicking My Own Butt with HK

If you've ever seen The Biggest Loser TV show, you're familiar with Jillian Michaels - the personal trainer who, at first glance, seems like the cruelest, craziest person on earth, but wow does she get results in terms of helping people change their lives (relating to exercise, weight loss, eating habits and personal growth). She's the person that you'd most dread to see show up at your front door, but if you were serious about making changes and want help, she's the best person to get you there.

On Saturday something came over me and I started channeling Jillian Michaels in the gym. Good thing I was alone in there. :) So, how did that come about, you ask?

Saturday morning I was over at my office doing a Health Kinesiology session on myself. That's one of the things I love about HK:  that I can do my own sessions. One of the top things that my body said (using muscle testing) needed to be worked on was an exercise routine. I love to exercise and highly recommend Snap Fitness here in West Seattle. But I am admittedly inconsistent with my attendance when life gets in the way, and when I am there I tend to protect myself and not push as hard as I might be able to. A large theme of my personal HK session was protecting myself (and why it doesn't serve me), and the exercise work-up was no exception.

One thing about Health Kinesiology is that things don't usually come up as a body priority until you're ready to deal with it (and have dealt with other issues previously that might be holding you back from it). Working up exercise in HK consists of finding out what a person's body considers ideal types of exercise, how much to do, and how often. The type of exercise I chose didn't surprise me since it's what I usually do anyway and enjoy - weight machines and the Arc Trainer and recumbent bike for cardio. The amount of exercise did surprise me though, and I had to trust that if my body came up with it, it was possible.

I headed to the gym right after my session to try out my new workout. I was charged with doubling my weight workout - not the actual weight, but doing two sets of 12 where I previously did one. And I was supposed to nearly triple my cardio. It was feeling a bit impossible, I'll admit.

After a cardio warm-up I did my weights. Right from the start, it was challenging. I tried my second set of bicep curls and came up short. I was ready to give up and go to the next one. But something came over me -- the realization that I was protecting myself by not pushing as hard as I could and not having enough faith in myself, and living in fear of hurting myself, when my real fear is probably of my success.

As I mentioned, I was alone in the gym. So I started channeling Jillian Michaels and was yelling at myself out loud!  Not berating myself, but being encouraging.  Reminding myself that people on the Biggest Loser have weighed 200 pounds more than me, and have done 10 times the exercise! So stop playing games and DO it!!

If anybody walked in, they'd think I'd lost my mind. Hey, maybe I did. :)  But you know what, I did it!  I did every single thing I set out to do and I felt great about it. The accomplishment was absolutely amazing in that 90 minute session.  I was back at the gym the next 2 nights (just for a 15 min. bike ride each night), and tonight I did the entire 90 minute workout again.

I'm finally having faith in myself that I can do this . . . that I can get fit and have fun doing it while trusting what my body tells me I'm capable of.

What are YOU capable of, but just can't hear your body telling you? We can work together to let you hear your body's own voice and the power that lies within.

(90 min. sessions are still buy one/get one free through July 15!)