Butterfly Balance Wellness Center

Mindful Spending

I just finished reading this really interesting blog post about Mindful Spending that I wanted to share.

Mindful spending is something I've only started really implementing in the past few years. A great deal of my life was spent pulling out credit cards a bit too freely, running up debt, and confusing wants for needs. I've done a lot of soul searching about the whys of what I'd done in the past, and why that couldn't continue anymore. I'm grateful to have righted the situation before things got worse than they were, and learning to live within my means.

But this post I read reminds me that Mindful Spending isn't just watching how much you spend, but also considering the intent behind what you spend - putting your money where your mouth is, if you will. From the article:

Mindful spending is a way of treating yourself, your community, and your money with respect. 

Mindful spending begs you to consider each dollar you spend an extension of your personal values, creating an individual economy that centers on what you love and not what society tells you you have to have. It means choosing not to spend money at all sometimes, choosing to spend more on high-quality, well-crafted items that support your community, and choosing to spend less on items that commercialism has put an unnecessary price tag on.

It really did make me reflect on how I spend my money. One of the biggest changes I've made is in how I spend my food dollars. I used to always look for the bargain - spending a great many years eating cheap, processed food (ramen noodles, anyone?). I remember in my first apartment with my best friend Ben, we used to say that we drank nothing but soda because it was cheaper than milk and juice. I bet that's still true today (although I don't drink milk or soda anymore, so I can't say for sure). But now, I really think about the quality of what I buy, how it's processed and where it comes from. Sure, I still buy processed foods from time to time, but I look at ingredients - if the ingredients are written in 5 pt. font so they can fit all 100 ingredients (chemicals), I just put it back on the shelf. I deserve better than that. I shop at the local PCC Market (food co-op/health food store) and invest in local, organic foods when I can.

Even a choice of store reflects on mindful spending. There is a store that I've browsed in that sells gemstones, rocks, and various other natural items. The prices are so insanely low that you just know that they have to using some sort of slave labor to obtain these items. I love the items in the store, but I refuse to buy any of it to support these prices that must likely reflect unfair trade.

Another example is a a major retailer that two years ago was selling king size flannel sheet sets for $20. I really needed sheets, and who doesn't like cheap prices? So I bought them. But now that I need more sheets, I'm having a hard time with the concept of $20 king sized flannel sheets. Think about the material and the workmanship that goes into making a king-sized set of sheets. I have a hard time thinking of ethics and fair trade when prices are that low.

For me, making the choice to not purchase is living in integrity and by my values.

Not all my choices are so virtuous. I'll be first to admit I still run through a drive-thru from time to time or buy some worthless junk I don't need, but I'm trying to make those events the exception and not the rule.

What does YOUR spending say about your personal values?

 

 

The Business Side of Healing

As a healer, all I've wanted to do is get out there and work with people to help them heal and be the very best they can be. My impulsive Aries nature would agree - just get out there and do it already! For better or worse, the part of me that's worked in corporate law for 29 years (that long? really?) knows better, and knows that there is a practical business side to all of it as well.

When I talk about  business, I'm not talking about the money making aspect of business. Sure, that's nice too - I plan on supporting myself with my passion. But there are certain legalities in terms of running a business, and all that stuff has had me bogged down for a bit, making my creativity and passion take a back seat.

My background in corporate law has been most helpful in terms of leading me to the correct resources. Seattle SCORE, affiliated with the US Small Business Administration, gives personal, one-on-one counseling to small business owners (or people considering small business), and best of all it's free. If you're not in Seattle, you can find their national site here and search by zip code.

I am thrilled to announce that I am now officially licensed by the State of Washington and the City of Seattle to do business legally under the name Butterfly Balance! Today I also set up my bank accounts for my business. It was so important for me to work in integrity - to do things legally, and to pay taxes on the money I earn. 

Now that most of that pesky business stuff is out of the way, now I can focus my attention on helping people and getting the word out about my practice.

Stay tuned for an announcement soon about the Butterfly Balance Open House!

Changes

A lot of our suffering is resistance to the life of feeling. If you surrender, you are surrendering to what is really going on. This is just to notice that nothing beyond your life is more important than your life. -- John Tarrant

My husband lost his job on Monday. Changes, indeed!

The layoff was totally unexpected, and when he called me mid-day, I spent the rest of the day pretty much hyperventilating and having a panic attack. Fortunately I got myself together, remembered some acupressure points for stress which one could do while hiding in the work bathroom, and nobody at work had any idea anything was going on with me (so they told me on Tuesday when I told them our news). We've been through this before, when he was laid off in August 2001, and would then be out of work for 18 months. Things were very hard during that time, but somehow it all came together. So I know we can do it.

We're actually in a much better financial position than we were then (although still not comfortable enough to go down to a one paycheck family). I sat with it a lot, thinking about why I panicked so much, and how I could go forward with my thinking on this. Okay, worst case scenario would be that we starve to death, living on the street. Will that happen? Of course not. We have family and friends who can help if we needed it, and I don't even anticipate needing to call on those favors for quite some time. He's got 2 months of severance pay coming, plus some unused vacation paid out, and then his unemployment insurance should pay his share of our common living expenses. We've needed to cut back on things like eating out, so now we've got some incentive to do so, that's all. The more I pay my own credit card bills with my own saved money (from cutting back), the lower they get and the lower the minimum payment will be, if I have to resort to paying only minimums to get by.

I think part of what panicked me initially was the fact that in 3 weeks I'm flying to Minnesota and Wisconsin for another HK class, followed by a mentoring retreat with an old, dear friend. This trip is going to cost me a small fortune, and I didn't really have it to begin with, but I decided it was an investment in me and worth doing. So now I'm feeling a little (okay, a lot) less sure about that decision and spending the money. But the plane ticket is nonrefundable anyway, and I figured okay, let's just do it. I had planned on going back to Minnesota several times in the next year for continuing classes. I think I had posted about that, and how I was willing to go into debt for it because it would be working towards a career change.

So now I don't now what will happen with that, giving the layoff, but I don't have to make that decision right now. And if I decide to go back in November/December (as originally planned) for the next class, it doesn't mean I have to commit to going back in January/February or so for the next one. One day at a time, as they say. After all, he could find an amazing job next week. Who really knows what the Universe has in store for us.

Of course, I've got a MegaMillions ticket burning a hole in my pocket (up to $325 million now) for a drawing tonight - winning that would be good too. :)

I'm almost a little surprised at how quickly I made peace with this. He seems to have too. We're not going to panic (anymore) and will see where this takes us. The good news is that he's no longer working at a job that had a stress level that was detrimental to him (in my opinion). He's got time to breathe and regroup. It'll all be as it's supposed to be.

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. – Dame Julian of Norwich

Choices, Assumptions, Realizations and Goals

I mentioned in a previous post that I had been in the East West Bookshop in Bothell and bought some used books. One of them was deeply discounted because it was highlighted, so it cost me $2 instead of the $12 list price; in fact, the cashier said they weren't even supposed to take the book to resell because of the highlighting, but the book was in such good condition otherwise that she took a chance. Apparently it had been on the table for an hour when I came by and snatched it.

The book is Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin. I'd heard of this book a few times, most recently during our church Simplicity Circle, and a personal friend (also involved in that circle) had recommended it. Seems fitting that I'd get a book on "financial independence" for a $10 discount. :)

This book has been really amazing. I've done a lot of work on finances and debt and spending and simplicity, so some of this was preaching to the choir and/or reinforcing what I've already known and done. But some of it was such an entirely different way of thinking of money and energy and really got me thinking. And excited about some of the things that were coming up as I got in touch with my thoughts about finances and working and life.

I've spent a lot of my life in debt. I'm still in debt, and for a significant amount still. Like half my annual salary (if we exclude the new car loan). The good news is that I'm now living within my means, and have been for the past two years - I have not incurred any new debt in that time that I have not paid off at the end of the month. And I'm paying more than minimums for my debt. Not much more, but more. And all my debt is at very low interest (6.9% or less), so I am grateful for that.

So, here's the thing. While it's really fantastic that I don't go deeper into debt, I could be doing a much better job of getting out of it. I spend way too much money still. Doesn't matter that I can afford to pay it all off. I've still got that albatross of debt hanging over my head. Some of the things I spend money on monthly are truly necessities - like rent and utilities - but there are things I don't need and/or could cut down on. Eating out, for instance. We spent WAY too much money eating out. Most of it is for boredom's sake, or laziness. Convenience, I guess. Hey, that's fine from time to time. But it's become way too much of the norm.

A friend and I were talking this morning about this, and she was saying how eating out became less "special" when it became routine. She's right! There's no excitement to a meal out anymore (other than the excitement that I don't have to cook it or clean up after it). And you can't say that I don't fill my house with convenience foods - our freezer is full of quick-to-heat things from Trader Joe's, for instance. So I really could have dinner on the table in less than 20 minutes, even if I had to boil water for a pasta side dish. Part of me feels like if I don't eat out, I will feel deprived. But I started to reframe that today, and realized that every dollar I spend eating out is one less dollar I can't pay to my debt. And every month that I do not get out of debt is one more month I have this debt haunting me, reminding me of past problems and issues. So what if I start making the choice to not eat out as often because I am making the choice to pay my bills faster?

Take lattes, for example. I never drank coffee, ever, back in New York. But for some reason I am a latte junkie here. I have one at least 5 days a week. It costs me $4.30 and I usually leave the $0.70 as a tip. So that's $5 a day. Times 5 days a week. Times 52 times a year. That's $1,300 a year, not counting any snacks I might also buy along with the latte, or any lattes I might have on weekends. Wow. So part of me justified that because Antoinette, the barista at the coffee shop in our atrium at work, is one of the most positive, sweetest people I've ever met. She remembers everyone, and everything about them. I go to see her and she is just beaming. Not too many people do that when I see them. It's nice to be welcomed and fawned over and given this steaming hot cup of rice milk and espresso. But then I realized that if I walk down to the atrium to read a book at lunch (like I did today), and pass Antoinette, she still calls my name and waves and smiles and wishes me a good day. No purchase required. Hmmm . . . So I decided this week that I was going to stop having lattes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That simple act of skipping 2 days would save over $500 a year!! So rather than look at it as deprivation that I didn't get a latte today, I decided to look at it as financial freedom - it's $5 closer to getting out of debt.

I'm in this line of work that just sucks the life out of me. I am not happy. As this book referred to it, I'm "making a dying" as opposed to "making a living." Very true. If I hit the lottery, I'd quit in a nanosecond. What would I rather be doing? Health Kinesiology (I've taken 3 levels now and just scheduled level 4 for September) and Reiki (I'm already attuned for level 2 of that and can practice it) and other alternative health pursuits. When I'm working with a client, I stop looking at the clock, and I'm filled with joy. But my assumption has always been that I "can't" quit my "day job" (the one that's not a joy) because "I can't afford it." Well, that got me to thinking about how much a year I pay to pay off debt. I pulled out my PDA and used the calculator, and the amount was staggering. If I didn't have the debt, I could easily earn half my salary, and I could live quite well on it. It was really quite the revelation. Then I figured out, if I charged $X a session and had X clients, how much would I make. And it pretty much came out to around the same figure as what I have left when I ignore the money I paid to debt!! This was a huge realization for me. And got me very excited. Because suddenly, I realized that I mostly likely could support myself with my passion, not what I'm doing now. My current line of work would be able to be done through a temporary agency too, if I ever wanted to supplement my income from other things. But, to get to this point, I need to get out of debt.

I will be 50 in 4 short years. I have decided that my goal is that all my debt will be paid by then, if not far sooner. I am going to reevaluate what I spend, and what value I get from it. I can probably pay it in 2 years, but I want to have a realistic goal. Your Money or Your Life talks about how money is energy, and how our life is energy, and we're trading our life energy when we make these financial decisions. Is that latte worth how long it takes me to work for the money for it? When I think of the alternatives, it really isn't. I'm not going to slash my budget insanely and go into deep deprivation mode. I'm going to take baby steps, keeping my eye on the prize - my financial independence from this job. And a time when I can walk away and do what I'm passionate about. Naturally, I'll have to work on that new career simultaneously, but it can be done. I'm already doing some work with that.

Interestingly, in my HK1 class, my teacher used me as a demonstration for something called Adjunctive: Work. This is asking the body questions (using muscle testing) about a particular thing (Work, Play, Sleep and/or Rest, in this case), and when we worked up the Work category, she said that my body's energy wanted to work part time. I balked at that at the time, it simply couldn't be done. But I'm starting to open myself up to the possibilities. Right now, no, it's not possible. Well, I guess it is, but I'm choosing not to because I want money to pay these debts down quickly. But it's nice to have options. And it's nice to know that my body was telling me all along the things that my brain is starting to catch up to. :) This is a work in progress; I don't have all the answers. It also won't resolve itself overnight. But I'm feeling optimistic now. I have choices I can make. I am realizing that my assumptions were incorrect. I've got some goals. I feel good about all of that!